Crossposted at Hoyden About Town

So, most folks with some familiarity of the fat/size acceptance blogosphere will be aware of the recent furore involving Marie Claire (US) publishing a blog from a journalist about CNN sitcom Mike and Molly (a show which focuses on an fat couple who meet at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting). Apparently the reason was that there has been some issues raised about the volume of fat jokes on the show (having never seen it, I can’t comment). The path the journalist took in the blogpost in question was quite different. She chose to focus on the fact that she finds the sight of ‘obese people’ (as opposed to some of her friends who are ‘plump’ – apparently signifiers of her not being “a size-ist jerk”) kissing as something which would ‘gross her out’, along with “watching a very, very fat person simply walk across a room”.

In something which was a pleasant surprise (sad that it should be such, in my view), there has actually been a significant backlash from a lot of Marie Claire’s audience; the comments to the post are predominantly focussed on calling out the author. Similarly, there have been some great responses both from within and outside of fat activist circles (see the bottom of the post for some links), and there has been a good deal of discussion about responding to the author v. responding to Marie Claire. It has come out that the author has a history of ED and related body dysmorphia, and there has been some acknowledgement on her part that this may have had an impact on her views here. Others have raised a fairly valid concern that Marie Claire has made the larger error here in giving that sort of viewpoint, however prompted, such a large stage (and honestly, I have no patience for ‘it’s just a ladymag’ arguments, because it dismisses the very large and predominantly female readership these magazines have). I haven’t mentioned the author’s name here, because really, it’s not about her. She’s not alone in her views (and comments on some of the stories about this bear that out pretty clearly), and although this particular article is one of the more blatant in terms of its expression of fat hatred, fat hate is everywhere.

Being fat in public is, so often, a political act, but just as often it’s an almost inescapable act. As a woman of colour who is often read as white, and a queer woman in a relationship with a man, these aspects of my identity are, in many cases (though not all, because so often it’s heavily dependant upon the ‘audience’), not as front-and-centre visible. My fat, however, is always here, with me. Even at my smallest adult size, which was directly related to a close personal relationship with amphetamines (which is likely not unrelated to my current size, given what that stuff does to one’s metabolism), which was around a size AU 14 (US 10-12), I heard ‘fat slut’ and ‘fat bitch’ and mooing sounds coming from cars driving past me on the street at a horrible frequency. That frequency has only increased as I’ve gotten larger; though I’ve been steadily around a size AU 22-24 with occasional drops below that due to illness for the last 5yrs or so. I’ve had co-workers, friends and family members express quite a bit of really ugly sentiments in the guise of ‘concern for my health’. I’ve had people turn my frustrations about the inability to find clothing of a quality and style I prefer in my size into an obvious indicator that my fat is making me unhappy; despite the fact that I’m usually pretty upfront about where the problem with clothing lies (hint: it’s not me). I’ve had doctors ignore legitimate health concerns and lecture me about things like blood pressure and cholesterol before actually testing it (at which point one discovers my numbers are pretty damn perfect, particularly for a family history of high BP, but that’s not the point, because even if it was bad, these doctors have assumed it was bad without measuring it).

One of the things I loved seeing in response to this whole thing was my Twitter stream filled with tweets from some of the awesome fat ladies I follow talking about how they were going out (to the shops, to the beach, etc.) to be fat at people. I myself spent part of yesterday at Stonefest, being fat at people and enjoying a music festival. I even had one of the official folk doing the wander around videotaping the crowds wander over to where I was sitting on the grass and prompt me to wave at the camera, so there is video evidence of me being fat in public somewhere (with a head, even!). I love outfit posts on fatshion blogs; I love things like Lesley’s Museum of Fat Love; I love posts talking about the kind of exercise we like and that doesn’t revolve around shame about our fat. Because Marianne is right – it shouldn’t always be about the haters. We are worth more than that.

This is not a new idea; it’s something I’ve seen in various social justice circles; in feminist blogs and woc blogs. A good takedown of haters can be awesome, so I’m not intending this to be a criticism or a ‘you’re doing it wrong’; takedowns and the like can be an outlet for the legitimate anger that comes from existing in a society that marginalises you, and they’re an important part of responding to that marginalisation. But so much responding to hate can burn folks out, and working positively and talking positively for ourselves can be restorative. It can be beautiful. It can be powerful.

It’s November, and I’ve seen some folks are doing NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). I’m not sure it’s going to work for me this year what with planning an interstate move, but I’m considering making a concerted effort to post more, and to concentrate my posting on that kind of restorative stuff, and joining in on conversations that are for us and about us, not just in terms of fat and size acceptance, but across the different spectrums.

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Links!

• Lesley at Fatshionista has a great takedown – which led to her being asked to write a counterpoint piece for Marie Claire.
• Coverage made it all the way to Australia’s Morning Show – featuring Dr. Samantha Thomas (VIDEO – if anyone can get a transcript, that would be awesome, or I will try and get one done tomorrow), who is a pretty awesome lady.
• Marianne Kirby has a piece at The Guardian’s Comment is Free (SERIOUS COMMENTS WARNING NO I AM SERIOUS REALLY DON’T DO IT).
• The Huffington Post actually has a great piece, from a self-confessed ‘foreign affairs guy’ (I am out of energy for comments at the moment, so read at your own risk, though a brief skim at the latest few suggests the author is moderating and deleting more hateful stuff).

• Health: Well, since last update, ulnar nerve entrapment has been confirmed at the elbow, and I’ve seen the specialist and am booked in for surgery on September 10th. Shouldn’t be a difficult procedure; probably an overnight stay in hospital after (perhaps discharge that day depending on how I pull up) and I should be able to go back to work a few days after depending on pain and swelling and stuff.

• Blogging: For reasons unknown, tigtog and lauredhel over at Aussie Feminist Blog Hoyden About Town have graciously invited yours truly to join the author roster. Given my recently renewed desire to start blogging social justice again; I could hardly say no. So, provided I can get my brain to co-operate, you may see me blogging over there once in a while, I might even link a couple if I’m feeling mean.

• Location, Location: Plans are well underfoot to secure things for Operation: Return to Brisbane. Things are on track for a return in early December. I am well pleased about this plan. I am growing weary of this cold and I miss my Brisbane peeps. I may have opportunity to return earlier, depending on secret squirrel discussions at work; but early December is the definite plan given Stephen has to finish out the semester.

And that’s pretty much me, at the moment. I’ve reached the point about the election where I am just holding my breath and continuing to be terrified that the people who told me, back when Tony Abbott became Opposition Leader, that he was unelectable and my fear was an overreaction, are going to be proven wrong in 14 days.

• Health: So, a few months ago, I went on a bit of a RockBand bender, and ended up with a pretty sore left wrist. Around that time, my 4th and 5th fingers started going numb, and, well, they’re still numb. I have nerve conduction studies booked for Tuesday, but it looks like I’ve got ulnar nerve impingement in the base of my hand. Basically, similar to carpal tunnel, but the nerve on the little finger side of the wrist rather than the thumb side. I’m told the surgery to fix it is pretty similar, with similar recovery expectations, and I’ve seen enough of those through work to know it’s relatively okay. Still, hand surgery isn’t the best of things to be needing, so :/

• Moar Health: Brainthings are going well; anti-depressants seem to be working, I’ve been feeling more productive, and I’ve noticed significantly fewer spikes of “Oh my word I am too crap a person to even exist why am I taking up space in the world,” which is a good sign. Haven’t been able to catch up with my therapist for a while now due to scheduling issues, but it’ll happen. We tried hypnotherapy, and I have a recording of the session to refresh, the point of it being to try and kick my subconscious out of hating me quite so much since reasoning with it hasn’t worked so far. That seems to be relatively helpful (cf lack of abovementioned spikes).

• Work: Is work, but is benefiting from my improved productivity. I’ve had a few rounds of clients being jerkfaces, particularly one large client who seems to have an issue with telling me when they have issues (despite me working with them for a few years now), but no problem whingeing at Head Office that I’m not doing things I can easily prove I’m doing. I have no idea, but I suspect part of it was trying to save face re: the local manager they had being shit, and their replacement is quite great so far.

• Moar Work: Bosslady is back from maternity leave next week, which is exciting because she’s lovely and a pretty great manager. Not that current manager is bad, but having her around again will be good.

• Life: Canberra is fucking cold, and I am so over this winter thing. There are prospects for a return to Brisbane around the end of the year, which would be awesomesauce. There’s prospects of a transfer being possible, work-wise, which is do-able if I want to hang around, in an area that’s different enough that I could do it for a bit to stash some cash away.

• Ideas: I’ve been getting a bit more serious about the idea of doing a massage course and going in that direction. Of course, it depends on how the whole hand surgery thing pans out, but from what I’ve been told it shouldn’t be an issue, and I’m able to massage with my hand still dodgy, which is something. Who knows.

• Creatives: I’ve been missing my creatives, of late. Though tbh, I’ve sort of reached that stage where I’m wondering if they existed in the first place, they’ve been gone so long. The fact that I’ve been looking at old posts and stuff from when I was still at uni and feeling like all my intelligence (or ability to communicate that intelligence, or something) has somehow dribbled out my ears since graduating. Idk, I think I need to set aside some time for myself to just DO stuff, and forget about whether it’s any good, even if I just stash it away and come back to it later or something. Though it often feels less like ‘where do I start?’ in terms of ideas and more ‘where did the ideas go?’. If anyone has ideas on kickstarting one’s creativity, I’m open.

So that’s me, at the moment. How are you?